Ahh Friday ...yes!  The day I look forward to all week is finally here.  The sun is shining, my boys are happy(and not auditioning for WWF Smack down in the living room for a change)  and I am starting to feel human again ... so very much to be thankful for!

Something happened last night, that I am still in awe over.  I debated whether to share or not, fearing that most will not understand, but my overwhelming sense of mommy joy ruled and I decided to share anyway :) 

In order for any of this to make sense, I need to give you a little bit of background.  When our family goes out for a meal, Jacob will usually never order for himself.  He insists that Adam and I do it for him, and never engages with the wait staff at any point during the meal or thereafter.  On the very rare occasion that he does order for himself, he looks at the ground and mumbles so we end up repeating his order anyway. He has a very tough time speaking to people (adults) and struggles socially as a result.  We guide him and give him little cues, to help ease the difficulty, but this is a very big struggle for him.  This is one of many, of the things that I find so heartbreaking to be a mom of a child of Asperger's.

Last night, Adam took us out to dinner at our favorite restaurant here, The Pancake house.  The boys love going there, and it's a family setting, so easy for Dad and Mom!  We settled in, ordered and enjoyed a really nice meal.  It was so nice getting out of the house (for me!) and letting someone else cook for a change.   I was about halfway through with my meal, when Jacob said "Mom, can I tell you a question?"  (we are still working on the ask/tell thing :)   I said "Sure, kiddo, what's up?"  He says  "  Do you think I need a box? Because I can't finish all of my supper. My tummy is full-ull-ull".  I was taken aback at first ... did I just hear him right? He asked for a box?   You are probably sitting there going "Yeah, so?"   This was huge!  He has never asked for a box before.  He has never associated food being left over with needing a box.  I looked at Adam, he looked at me and smiled and I said "Why, yes, I do believe you DO need a box kiddo.....nice job!  Good thinkin'!!"   I was so proud of him at that moment, that I was beaming!!!  But it get's BETTER!   Our waitress walked by a minute or so later, and our little guy pipes up and says " Umm excuse me M'am, do you think I could get a box for my food , please? I am full."  She smiled and said "Of course!"

I turned to Jacob and I was speechless!  I hugged him tight and high fived him and said "You are SO awesome!!! Look at you, big guy!"  Adam gave him kudos and fist bumps and all the while, Jacob was sporting this coy little grin that he has, that when he wears it, reminds me so much of my dad.  Adam and I could not believe what had just happened..... it was amazing, it was magical and it had happened with NO prompting from Dad or mom. 

So many times over the past 6.5 years, I have struggled with the why's and the how's.  I have felt defeated, I have felt as if I couldn't possibly face one more day.  I am humbled daily with just how easy we really do have it, when I read about or see other families and their struggle.  Days like yesterday make every single hurt and set back worthwhile.  

So if you're still reading and still don't get it .... that's ok.  I don't judge :)   If I didn't have a child with needs that are a little special, I probably wouldn't get it either.   Just celebrate with me because you are my friend, or family (or complete stranger if you stumbled upon my blog by accident) and smile and say to yourself "Way to go Jacob...that was huge!".  He won't hear you, but I will and that's enough .... it's the little things, you know?


(And just a little shout out to our waitress last night.  Her name was Sherri and she was phenomenal! She has 9 kids....whoa, back up and process that one.....9 kids!  And she was so awesome with both of our boys.  Handled them perfectly and the boys really enjoyed her.  When you get good service, I feel it's important to tell someone!  So if you're ever in the Port Orchard area and want a nice meal, in a family friendly atmosphere....hit up the pancake house and see if Sherri is working!)

Zoo Day with our besties

Last weekend, Daddy had to work, so we packed up the Mini van and headed out to the Point Defiance Zoo for a day with our Friends! Just outside the Gate, we stopped for a beginning of the day shot. Kira decided it was not time to cooperate for the paparazzi :)  (I love that girl and her spirit!)

The weather was GORGEOUS! Not a cloud in the sky and no wind ....perfect day for strolling around the zoo ! 3 mamas, 9 kiddos, 2 strollers and we were off! 

Kira and Brady stopped to look at the turtle and Kira said "Mama it's DEAD!!!"    Lori and got a really good laugh over that .....kids are just too adorable .  No, Kira, Darling, it wasn't dead, he was resting :)

I just love the Meerkats !  The way they pop up on their hind legs like "HEY! What's up?!"  Just so stinkin' cute!

Brady says "Mama, take picture of me....I'm getting in the hole"    How could I resist? :)   Too much cuteness!

Lori and I love the Elephants...  The girls seemed to enjoy him (her?) but the boys , not so much! They wanted action! Moving on !!

Brady and Kira looking for the Tiger (that we never did find).  They are just too adorable together :)  Lifelong friends <3    (They are only 4 mnoths apart in age)

The Tapir. Eek.  Brady says "Look Mama, it's a PIG"  lol  and the description of the Tapir says it is a "pig like" animal, so he was right on the money!  It's tongue was like a foot long and disgusting, he was creeping Lori and I out .  The monkey's were overhead, so we tried to concentrate on them and not pay attention to him.  Sorry , fella, no offense, but you're scary!!!

I couldn't get the lighting right on my camera (probably would help if I read the instruction manual, right?) This guy was hilarious! He was swinging from his ropes, eating with his toes....he put on quite the show for the kids, it was great! They loved him! He swung over to his lady friend and sat in her lap and they had a conversation then he swung back over to us. That was a highlight of the day for sure!

This guy looked so sad and forlorn , I wanted to give him a great big hug and just tell him it was all going to be ok ...lol ! He may have been sleeping? I don't know. I told Jen I was going to take this photo for her as she wanted a copy.  Poor dude :(

I have always been a fan of the "big kitties". Love tigers and the big cats at the zoo.  This cat was stunning.  Just gorgeous!

 

 

My boys watching the tigers

We happened to be there at the right time and were able to watch this walrus and his buddy get fed .  He also had eye drops put in and do a bunch of tricks! That was so cool to be a part of ! The kids really liked being there for all of that!

Jacob and his buddy Garrett watching the seals

Ally and Jacob deep in conversation about the seals :)   Ally was our tour guide and did a GREAT job.  Growing up to be such a beautiful young lady. Hard to believe she's going on 9 years old !

*Almost the whole gang* minus 2    From left to right -  JJ, Johnny, Ally Derrick, Jacob Garrett and Kira     Not pictured -  Brady and Jillie Beans

And I can't forget the photo of My bestie's and I ....I love these girls like there is no tomorrow.  These girls are what true friends are all about and what makes a day at the zoo , with 9 kids, so much fun.  No stress, no drama....just pure fun.    Such a great day filled with great memories, not only for the kids, but for the moms, too!  I would say, that day was a win/win :)  

I found my blog....YES !

Well, hello old friend!  I set up this blog years ago and never started blogging.  Why? Oh, the old time thing, ya know?  I have always wanted to use it, to record my ramblings, because those of you who know me, know I have a tendancy to talk and talk and ....well, talk !

My first entry will be a little deep as today is a special day of remembrance for my family and I.

Today, July 11th, is what would have been, my older brother Bryan's 51st birthday. He was taken from us, 4 years ago, very quickly, for which we are all grateful, but I know I can only speak for myself when saying this.....I still fight feelings of bitterness.  I hate cancer.  I'm going to call myself out right here and now, because I'm teaching our boys not to use the word "hate" , but yet I use it myself.  And I hate cancer.  It took my Daddy from me, another person I was not ready to let go of yet.  At least my brother got to meet Jacob, although he does not remember his awesome uncle , he was only 4 months old.

For those of you who don't know, Bryan was my dad's son.  Dad had 2 boys (Bryan and Gary) and a beautiful daughter, my only sister (Bekki) before he met my mom.  Mom had 3 boys ( Danny, David and Dennis) before she met dad.  When they met and got married, they then decided to try to have another child.  This is where I came in !  This is why I always called our family the Brady Bunch :)   

Bryan was amazing!  He was every girls dream of what a big brother should be!   He owned his own tattoo/piercing shop in Bellingham and I got to watch him hard at work, several times.  I had talked to Bryan about getting a tattoo and we discussed that the only way I would ever get one, is if my big brother was the one to give it to me.   This body is now un-inked and will remain so as a tribute to my brother.    I can remember as a little girl, going to visit them up in Bellingham.  I would get out of the car and run to my brothers.  They would swoop me up into their arms and I would just feel like I was up on top of the world! Bryan would sit and play his guitar and sing to me and I would blush.  He had such a beautiful voice and could play the guitar so beautifully!  They never treated me like I was a "kid", even though I was so much younger than they were.  I loved that about them both!  

Whenever I visited Bryan, he would always show me all of his gadgets.  He had so many neat things , old things, that he would buy off of E-bay (if I'm remembering correctly?) and such.  He used to shave with the old time brush/cup and flat razor.  Adam is now the proud owner of that set, as his lovely wife, Lisa gave that to us after his passing. I love to look over at Adam's sink in the bathroom and see a piece of my brother each morning! It's almost as if he is still here.

He was so very smart and inquisitive.  He was caring and loving and had a heart of gold.   When I saw him, holding our son that day in 2007, I just knew he was going to be an amazing dad someday.   That day never came.   He didn't even get the chance to see his nephews grow up.  He didn't even get to meet Brady.   I didn't get to say goodbye. 

But what he DID get was to have was to be surrounded by his loving wife and friends as he took his last breath.   He was able to live a life of happiness and be surrounded each day with people who made him happy.  He was well loved and he was content.   I cannot be more grateful for ANY of that.  That is what gives me peace and helps me to know that he is ok now.  He's not in any pain.  He is not suffering.

Bryan, I love you, and until we meet again someday, I want you to know, that your nephews know you.  They see you each and every day as your photos are in our home. You are a part of our family as if you were still here, playing in the sunshine, laughing, smiling that very contagious smile of yours.  You are still here, in our hearts, in our minds and will be forever.  We love you !